


Farewell

by Susana Rosa (SusanaR)



Series: Desperate Hours Alternative Universe (DH AU) D version [14]
Category: Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Friendship, Spanking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-23
Updated: 2011-07-23
Packaged: 2017-10-21 16:32:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/227280
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SusanaR/pseuds/Susana%20Rosa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To Ereinion Gil-Galad,  Elrond seemed haunted by the loss of Elros, forever half himself until he seemed to become half his twin.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Farewell

**Author's Note:**

> "One need not be a chamber to be haunted;  
> One need not be a house;  
> The brain has corridors surpassing  
> Material place."
> 
> -Emily Dickinson, Time and Eternity
> 
> "The most I ever did for you, was to outlive you,  
> But that is much."  
> ~ Edna St. Vincent Millay

To Ereinion Gil-Galad, Elrond seemed haunted by the loss of Elros, forever half himself until he seemed to become half his twin.

But that was getting ahead of the story. It had started with three figures standing on a quay in Mithlond, waving farewell to a fleet of ships. The men sailing away were filled with hope and a little trepidation. The three elves, watching them leave, were almost in mourning.

It was odd, the King of the Noldo on Arda thought to himself, in many ways this had actually begun, for him, with two figures on the quay in Lindon. Himself, a new King, and his kinsman Cirdan, whom he loved as a second father. Ereinion had been keeping Cirdan company, waiting for news from the Havens of Sirion, of what had befallen Elwing and her sons. That news had not come that day, nor for many weeks. When at last a messenger of Maglor's had arrived, it was with the fantastic news that Maglor himself had saved Elwing's twin sons, and wanted to give them into Cirdan's safe-keeping. Ereinion had wanted to go to that parley, but Cirdan and his other advisors would not let him. Maglor was a son of Feanor, even if he was the only one who had repented in anyway. He was not to be trusted.

But apparently, Maglor had been trust-worthy in this one matter, at least. For Cirdan and his escort had returned, two silent elflings in tow. These were not the cheerful baby cousins that Ereinion had spent several pleasant afternoons with; these were sullen, distrusting, sturdy creatures. And they did not want anything to do with Cirdan, at first. They liked Ereinion a little better, for some reason. After a time, Cirdan and Ereinion both thought that their two poor, traumatized little cousins were adjusting. The twins started coming to meals, and obeying Cirdan's gentle instructions, and attending their lessons and doing their work, even if they refused to speak in Sindarin or Quenya or any other language that anyone else could understand.

However, the twins were, apparently, not planning a long stay with Cirdan. Instead, they had been using their free time, and some of the time when they were supposed to have been sleeping, to build a small boat. Which they then attempted to sail out of the harbor, their apparent intent being to find their father. Cirdan had been incredulous and furious, though he was impressed at the elflings' nautical skill. They had gotten surprisingly far before their tiny craft had been swamped by the draw from a larger approaching vessel. Part of their punishment had been helping Cirdan and the shipwrights down in the harbor. Ereinion and Cirdan had split a cask of fine brandy, the first night Elros had unbent enough from his quiet act to quiz Cirdan intently over dinner on different ship building techniques.

Elrond had taken a little longer to figure out, but the study of healing soon drew him out, as all things nautical had Elros. Ereinion had thought it quite handy that Elrond had become a healer, for if anyone he knew was ever in need of the services of a healer constantly, it had to be Elros. In fact, for years the question had been, "who will take look after Elros? For he who had just sailed away forever had been the most adventurous and trouble-finding of Lord Cirdan's royal fosterlings. It had been Elros's idea to build that boat to sail after their father Earendil, and it had probably been Elrond's idea to ask the dolphins for help getting back to shore. Ereinion was entirely sure it had been Elros' idea to run away to join the Edain forces fighting in the War of Wrath, after Cirdan and Ereinion had both refused to let the twins fight in Ereinion's army, until they came of age. Elrond had been content enough just helping the healers in Lindon, which the twins had been permitted to do. Since Elros had chosen to be human, Ereinion had lost track of the number of times Elros had gone charging off into some unstable situation or another, his twin brother usually by his side. And of the number of injuries that Elros had sustained, and Elrond had looked after. Even now, Cirdan thought Elrond's decision had been in part to look after his brother's possible descendants.

It was Elrond who spoke first, as the ships sailed out of sight, to Ereinion's surprise and Cirdan's.

"Well, we had best be getting back, Ereinion. That trade agreement with Khazad-Dum isn't going to write itself." Elrond said resignedly.

Ereinion stared at his younger cousin. "Ah, Elrond, I had planned to give both of us the rest of the day off. Maybe go riding, or drinking?"

Elrond shook his head lightly. "Any excuse, eh, my King? Well, your poor Herald knows his duty, even if you do not."

"Cirdan," Ereinion implored, "I think it would be best if..."

Cirdan shook his head sadly. "Nay, Ereinion. Elrond wishes to work, and those trade agreements do need your attention."

Ereinion threw a careful arm around Elrond's shoulders as they returned to his castle. He and Cirdan had agreed to try and get Elrond to take some time for himself, but if Elrond would not, at least Ereinion could work with him.

As the next few days unfolded, Ereinion watched Elrond for signs of distress, of the grieving process that would be normal upon such a wrenching separation. But Elrond moved as an Ellon frozen in time between one moment and the next, keeping very occupied with one task and another. And he never spoke his brother's name. Ereinion worried, and he knew Cirdan, and the twins' friends who had not sailed with Elros, worried as well. But none of them knew what to say; it had always been Elros who spoke to Elrond, when there was something bothering Elrond. It had always been Elrond who took care of Elros, when he had some new bee in his bonnet. Ereinion was not sure what to do.

The twins had always been sufficient unto themselves, the result of an early childhood spent in various and sometimes desperate circumstances. Ereinion's childhood had been marred by tragedy as well, but he had not come to Cirdan fully capable, as a young elfling aged not even 20, of living off the land. It had taken the twins a long while to warm up to Cirdan, though he was one of the most practiced of caring uncles. It had taken them less time to warm up to Ereinion, who they remembered idolizing as the visiting older cousin who would play with them as small elflings in their parent's home, before losing their mother.

So as time wore on, and Elrond did not grieve, it was Ereinion who stayed, and Cirdan who went away with the army on maneuvers. Ereinion stayed, because the question had become, who would look after Elrond?

As Cirdan prepared to depart, he explained, "I think Elrond may be more willing to confide his devastation in an older brother than a father, Ereinion. It is a brother he has lost, and it is a brother he must remember he still has. More, he thinks I am too ancient to be rent asunder by such sorrows."

Ereinion had frowned. He would have preferred to have gone with his army, though he agreed that one of he or Cirdan should stay, as Elrond was still...frozen. "But we are only his cousins, Cirdan." Ereinion objected faintly, feeling keenly his dereliction of duty in regards to his army.

Cirdan embraced the young King of whom he was both proud and immensely fond, kissing his forehead gently in parting. "We must be father and brother to Elrond, as I have been father and he and Elros have been brothers to you. For he now has no others." Ereinion agreed with that much.

Elrond had usually been the most quiet, most even-tempered, least-troublemaking of Cirdan's fosterlings. In fact, it had been Elrond who smoothed over the disasters which had resulted from Elros's bold, well-intentioned plans. But Elrond was strong, a warrior as well as a healer. He had been trained by the best Ereinion's court had to offer, and again by the Edain in the midst of the War of Wrath. Every day, rain or shine, Elrond had joined his brother at the practice courts in the morning. Now, Ereinion had noted Elrond came in the afternoons as well, though his defense off his right side, where Elros had been accustomed to stand, was a bit weak.

No weakling was Elrond Peredhel. But he had yet to comprehend the magnitude of his loss.

Elrond and Elros had had their own language. For years, it had been all they spoke. Now the only speaker of that language in all of Lindon was Elrond alone. The only one who knew the sounds of Elwing's lullabyes, enhanced by the heartbeat of mother and twin brother; the only one who remembered the first time the twins, alone together on the shore without parent or caretaker, had succeeded in catching and eating a shellfish. The only one who remembered what it had been like to take turns, the one sleeping through the night, and the other holding a sharpened shell in readiness, in case their temporary caretaker Maglor had another change of heart.

So Ereinion was there when Elrond finally broke down, nearly a month after his brother had left him. Half-human that he was, Elrond had left alone for a camping trip in the pouring rain, gone for three days. No sleep, no food, no word, no sense. It was such a strange thing for Elrond to do - something more like Elrond would have convinced Elros NOT to do. Ereinion and a guard went out to retrieve Elrond, and Ereininon bathed him, dressed him in dry clothes, argued with him about eating, spanked him soundly for being so careless of his own health, and put him to bed. And Ereinion was there when Elrond woke sobbing later that night, and held him, and told him he was not alone, that he had a brother and a father who loved him still. And Ereinion agreed that it was good it had been him there when Elrond broke at last; for Cirdan would have wanted Elrond to speak of his grief. But Erienion understood. Elrond could not yet speak of his loss. He had not yet comprehended its magnitude and depth. He was like an ellon who had lost not just two limbs, but a part of his heart and his soul. Ereinion understood that Elrond might never be ready to speak of his grief.

But time passed, and Elrond felt better. Ereinion would be ever grateful to the young scribe Erestor, who had brought Elrond a hawk with mangled wings which other healers had said would never fly again. Elrond and Erestor had decided the hawk would fly again, and then saw that it did. After that, Erestor was often in Elrond's company, and therefore in Ereinion's. In time, the King appointed Erestor as one of his advisers, despite the ellon's relative youth. It was not, as some jealous members of Ereinion's court whispered, an appointment made as a favor to Elrond's friend. But rather because Erestor was smart and diplomatic, and had a calm way about him, no matter how dire a situation became, that pleased Gil-galad. Though he valued Erestor all the more for being Elrond's friend, and giving Ereinion someone else in Lindon who not only cared for Elrond, but had some clue as to go about getting through his elvish reserve. And Elrond was very reserved. It had always been Elros who had coaxed him into relaxing, and Ereinion did not like needing Erestor's help to get Elrond to laugh, but he was glad for Erestor.

And Ereinion was glad that at least one of the twins had decided to stay. He loved them both, and could not have chosen between them. But it was Elros who chose to go, and Elrond to stay. And thank the Valar for Elrond. Elrond, who agreed that Annatar was not to be trusted. Elrond, who agreed that the Sindarin survivors of Doriath should be given sanctuary, and then joined Gil-galad in mourning their departure while wishing them well in their new home. Elrond, who joined Cirdan as an ellon Ereinion could trust to always tell him the truth in private, no matter how unpalatable it might be. Elrond, who was his brother.

And others came to care for Elrond as well, despite Elrond's reserved manner. Elrond was very kind, especially to children and young ones, but he had trouble relaxing with those he did not know well. Most elves took that reserve for snobbishness or Elrond being a cold fish. But not the returned balrog slayer, Glorfindel. No, he kept at Elrond until Elrond had agreed to go drinking with him, then took care of Elrond when his half-human disposition proved not up to matching Glorfindel drink for drink. The next morning, Glorfindel had prodded Elrond along to the practice courts, teaching Earendil's son the best ways to fight with a hangover. Ereinion himself had learned a lot from that lesson. Not long after, Glorfindel had approached Ereinion, and asked to have Elrond's further training placed in his capable hands. Ereinion had agreed, and Elrond had not thanked him at first for that decision, although when his young cousin began to see his own rapid improvement, he stopped complaining. Elrond was not a fool, nor was he ungrateful. Elrond knew he was more healer than warrior, and he gratefully accepted Glorfindel's offer to accompany him on those training missions with the army that he undertook as Ereinion's heir, in the position of adviser. Glorfindel began training Erestor as well, since Erestor was often with Elrond. Ereinion was quite sure Erestor wasn't sure how that had come about, but his youngest, most diplomatic adviser was unlikely to challenge Glorfindel's right to do so, not when Elrond and Ereinion both had no objection.

Ereinion was glad for Glorfindel, as he became another friend to Elrond. Elrond, as was his wont, could not just accept Glorfindel as a gift from the Valar without pointing out to Ereinion that there were probably strings attached.

"Glorfindel himself I like well, cousin, though he is a bit inclined to protect me more than I think necessary on our recent training missions. But I like not what it says about the years that are coming, that the Valar think we shall need a reborn balrog slayer." Elrond commented, in his quiet, reflective manner.

Ereinion sighed. "You've always had a way with words, kinsman."

Ereinion had never minded that Elrond was half-human. Some of the more conservative members of his court thought that it made Elrond inferior. Ereinion thought that, if anything, the half-elven seemed a little quicker, a little more creative, than the average elf. But Elrond's being half-elven also terrified Ereinion, for it carried burdens as well as benefits. The half-elven were more fragile...they needed more sleep and food than the average elf, and Elrond would sometimes just stop eating and sleeping for a few days at a time, despite being a trained healer. It made Ereinion furious, the few times it had happened. Given one odd thing and another about Elrond over the years, Ereinion wasn't terribly surprised when Glorfindel and Erestor, between them, figured out that Elrond's strange nightmares and headaches were the gift of prophecy manifesting in him. Fortunately, Ereinion knew just whom to contact, in regards to that new challenge.

For it was also Elrond who dealt better with Galadriel and Celeborn. Mere great Lord and Lady though they were to Ereinion' s King, he found them difficult and intimidating. He always felt they thought he could be doing a better job. But Elrond dealt with them well, and Galadriel dealt well and fairly with Elrond, when he began to have visions of the possible future, a late blooming legacy of his Maia forbearers. Ereinion grew much more fond of Galadriel after that, and of Celeborn, for pinning Elrond down, and making him admit he needed help with his prophetic visions. After being trained by Galadriel, Elrond rarely ever had problems sleeping. Though he was still half-elven, and more fragile, and that terrified Ereinion, though he did his best not to show it. And that was usually easy enough, for Elrond never acted fragile. He was often one step ahead of his King, the consummate herald and lieutenant, one of Ereinion's best friends, as well as his baby cousin and titular heir.

Still, despite how glad he was of Elrond's company, Ereinion later decided it had taken Elrond many centuries to learn who he was without his brother by his side. And even then, who Elrond became had elements of Elros, new traits which had never been native in Elrond before. Elrond had always cared about justice and fairness, the betrayed and oppressed. But Elrond's solution had been to heal them, or change the law to protect them. It had been Elros whose solution was to charge forward, sword drawn. But when Ereinion Gil-galad and his advisers received word that their fears had come true, that Eregion had been betryaed by Annatar (who had been unmasked as Sauron), it was Elrond who begged his King and foster-brother's leave to take an army to Eregion's rescue. Ereinion did not have enough elves to send a truly overwhelming force with Elrond, not with Lindon also under threat. So he made his herald and cousin, his titular heir, his baby brother, swear to him, that Elrond would abandon his charge if it were hopeless. If their force were too badly outnumbered, that Elrond would turn back, and leave Eregion to pay for its own mistakes.

Elrond, before he lost Elros, Ereinion thought, would have understood that promise, and abided by it. Elros, on the other hand, had never admitted when a cause was lost. And, when the months turned into years with no word, Ereinion realized that a refusal to give up might be another trait of Elros' that Elrond had elected to take on as his own, a living memorial to his twin. Ereinion was glad that he had sent the returned Balrog slayer Glorfindel, another elf who did not know when to give up, with Elrond, as well as the diplomatic and level-headed Erestor. He was glad he had sent word to Celeborn so quickly afterward to muster a force from Lorien to Elrond's and Eregion's aid.

Then Ereinion and Cirdan both were soon too busy defending Lindon against Sauron's forces to go to Elrond's rescue. But oh, when the Numenoreans came, Elros's children's children, and Ereinion Gil-galad was finally free to go relieve and retrieve his wandering herald, oh, he and Elrond were going to have a little talk. And Elrond had better be alive to appreciate the full extent of his King and brother's worried fury that Elros's adventurous spirit had found a home in Elrond's sensible hide.

But as worried and angry as he was (and, oh, he was!), Ereinion was glad that Elros would never be entirely gone from him, not while still Elrond lived. And not while these stalwart Numenoreans bravely marched with him, just as determined to rescue their distant uncle, though they did not even know he was their kin. Elros's descendants, in very deed. Ereinion wondered what Elrond would make of them all, and whether this profusion of bold, mortal great-nephews might give his half-elven cousin Elrond his first gray hair. Ereinion hoped so - he rather felt Elrond deserved that, after Eregion.


End file.
